l'amore e cieco. oh, love is blind.

ah it's been a good 5 months since my last post.
i can safely say, finally, i am content.
i read my last (unfinished) post draft then, i guess i feel comfortable enough to publish it now.

trapped.
suffocated.
strangled.
CAGED.
these tears will never go away.
he'll just keep on bringing them back.
over
and over
and over..

do i really want to live like this for the rest of my life...
?

the emotions i was going through then, remain crystal.
but i've earned my wings.
and i'm finally free from what and whom i had bound myself to.

everytime i tried to give answers to repeated questions or demands, previous words would just be twisted into another form in retort. no amount of words or explanations would have ever ever been enough for him. as time went by, it was better off not being too, expressive.

in the end, i chose to detach myself. completely.

obsessiveness. possessiveness. constant pressure. verbal? emotional? physical? makes no difference, abuse is abuse. was just, so sick and tired of clingings to irrelevant associations and what has passed.

regrets are a waste of time.
they're the past crippling you in the present.

never am i going to let myself feel oppressed like that again.
my choice.
i moved on.

stormy weather

here's alex serra doing a cover of ella fitzgerald's 'stormy weather': this clip is schweeeet. i hope he makes an album soon! :o)

ohayogonzaimas!

hm. and yet another hibernation. lol!
tht's wht happens when i have movie marathons the night before. my sleep payback is like whoa. 12-18hrs spans.

i woke up happy today though! feeling fully rested and charged up for another all-nighter! hoho! just as expected, i am finally settling down here during my second semester. although i still miss home tremendously! at least my mind and emotions are clearer now.

i'm in a productive mood. done my laundry. did some house chores. and going to spring clean my room now (although it isn't in a mess), rearrange my files, plan trips, paint my nails!

speaking of trips, i can't wait for the upcoming ssa winter trip in july! cw & i just signed up for it yesterday :o)

coffee thoughts

why go after something when it really isn't something you want to do for the rest of your life? sure, having the title 'architect' to your name would make everyone proud, family, parents, siblings, spouse, children.. heck, it would even make ME proud. "so, what do you do?" "i'm an architect!" wheee.

even if i do have the capacity and the brains to become an architect, getting into the industry is only worth it if you're in for the long haul. i've toyed with the idea of just having the novelty of getting the title Ar. placed in front of my name, and then going off and doing something entirely different. my haphazard-ness coming up once again (?; people seem to point out that i change and adapt with the flip of coin!) frivolous frivolous girl.. tsk. i can't seem to concentrate on studies here. and i hate restrictions. that's probably the reason why i've opted to take up interior design as an elective for my second semester this year, as opposed to cinema 4d (which was my initial choice); so that interior design would be an option i am able to get into in future.

alright! well, that's decided. ^_^ will see how things go within the next few months then!

vero

i just found out today after reading siewlin's blog by chance (i hardly ever read any of my blog notifications).

i can't believe she's gone....


newsclip here.

life is shorter than we think.
those dear to you could be gone tomorrow.. :(

coo

hm. i have passed the point of fatigue. now it's just wide-eyed zombie-like consciousness.

@_@

am trying to finish off my final submission atm.
after this, the real holidae begins!

i wanna drink! and smoke!

aramaiteeee style! ;D